Why? I have a Dream

Why is it that I seem to
only dream of peace? Everything
gets chaotic if I begin to feel at ease.
The sky appears to be clear, as it
is speckled in fluffy white clouds.
But then the rain begins to down
pour, and the peace gets all washed
out. It is quickly replaced with
worry, fear, and a whole lot of doubt.
On the outside no one knows I’m
dying. I’m screaming, attempting
to fight from the inside to get
out. I am never good enough to
anyone it seems. No matter
what I do, or if I’m just not
supposed to be me. I try to
be the person that they imply
that I should be. But deep down
inside, I’m dying, praying, hoping
one day that I can just
be me.